Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
