i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
wow bdsm is so cute
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
