last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
