dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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