plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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