Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i dont even know how to be here
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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