Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
