My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
