Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
