I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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