those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
