He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
