biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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