You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize