it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
