Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She said her name was "party"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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