Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we're making bets on your personal life
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize