i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We just shotgunned beers for America
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
