Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
