don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize