HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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