you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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