she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
