My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
