i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just pynch a tree in the face
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
