Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
