Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
