Already got asked if we're dating
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
