Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize