I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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