So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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