know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
