Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
