I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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