She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
