so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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