turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
