I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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