Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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