If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
