we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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