I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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