Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
