I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
