im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
