My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
