we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So much Jack, so little girl.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
