If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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