But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize