Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
