Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
