im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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