I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
