have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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