Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
