He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
