I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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