Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
