i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize