He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
