dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
