trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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