I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
