yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize