textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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