Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
