Soap is not a condiment
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
