so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
