Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
