At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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